Ok this is the first entry to what I hope will be a successful weight loss journal. I am fat and need to lose weight. My weight has increased to obese proportions after having my children - sleep deprivation plus inactivity and mindless eating (maybe throw in some stress eating into the mix too). My husband loves me, my kids love me but I don't think I love me right now. I avoid mirrors, I hate the way I look in any clothes and out of them, I don't do my hair and makeup much anymore, I am tired a lot, I have heartburn, everything is an effort, and I need to change this...yesterday. It's sad, I'm sad and I don't want to be like this. Enter weight loss blog. One day I plan to re-read this post and shed a tear for that person that was and is no longer.
I have ordered some organic fruit and veg to eat and juice up. I bought a protein type powder shake that tastes just like a McDonalds vanilla shake (score!), I have free range chicken breasts in the freezer. I bought an ipod nano as I am planning to join a gym and need the music/podcast distraction. I think I have a plan to actually do this. I am scared that I won't, I am a self-saboteur. I think it will be hard to begin with but then as I lose weight then it will motivate me to continue and keep the momentum. I will establish good patterns of eating and exercise. I have to do this for me and my family. My children and my husband deserve a healthy wife and mother. God please help me do this! I need to love me again.
Ok, my scales are acting up due to me being so heavy. My husband steps on them and the marker obediently and efficiently moves to his number. When I step on them, it swings wildly from number to number - yes! no! yes! oh no! I think I weigh somewhere about 112 kilograms. Anything above 100 is just...ugh. I need to get to double digits. I am average height so 80 kilograms is the goal to being just overweight as opposed to obese. Then 68 I think is normal weight. My goal will be 65-70 kilograms. So that's about 50 kilograms to lose. And here we start.
